When I think about one of my first memories of actively practicing religion, I remember riding in the car with my mother, grandmother
and two older sisters. It was some summer vacation from maybe sixth grade. The mornings
were spent attending some religious ceremonious sermon-ana-bob-thing.
I spent days sitting among large groups of women much older than me, hours spent happily listening spending time with my sisters, cousins and sort off summer camp friends. I can probably credit the respectful etiquette to that and in fact this etiquette guided me to be open to all kinds of religions and peoples later on in my life.
Having been brought up attending community based activities, relief work, being paired and teamed with so many different kinds of women. I grew older from pre-teen to full bloom teenager. The last of such summers was when I was sixteen. Background on what kind of family we are, by this time my parents had taken us traveling, my sisters were in Mount Holyoke College, summer vacations were just me and my mom. I had chosen to start covering my head and was now very familiar with the dichotomies any teenager faces when thinking about religion, society and science.
In fact, I distinctly remember having been assigned individual projects that summer at the community center to talk about any religious concept pertaining to the Quran. And being who I was then and who I am now. I wanted to talk about the words in the Quran no one knows the meaning of and link that mystery to aspects of the human intellect. The limitations, the imaginative, the exploration and the unknown.
I look back fondly at this memory. A probably very definitive one at best, I had a few ideas, a few flash cards in my hand, budding debater at school, I thought how hard can this be? This argument is valid.
I had reconciled the ultimate question at fifteen. I was going to solve the “Why deny god?” problem facing born-muslims-neo-intellectuals. I was ambitious. I started my presentation with celestial bodies, human flaws, societal morality, fluidity in thought and closed the presentation by saying the human intellect has its limitations just as the belief in God does. At some point we need to give into the imaginative, the awe we sense in creation. I was telling them I believe in God because I want to, not because he necessarily exists. That I was accepting of falsifying logic, dubious doubts, distorted truths and despite all the neon signs, I was ready to accept that too was from the creator. Those truths don’t threaten or manipulate a spiritual truths reality and strength.
I think I was on to something or probably thin ice.
I spent days sitting among large groups of women much older than me, hours spent happily listening spending time with my sisters, cousins and sort off summer camp friends. I can probably credit the respectful etiquette to that and in fact this etiquette guided me to be open to all kinds of religions and peoples later on in my life.
Having been brought up attending community based activities, relief work, being paired and teamed with so many different kinds of women. I grew older from pre-teen to full bloom teenager. The last of such summers was when I was sixteen. Background on what kind of family we are, by this time my parents had taken us traveling, my sisters were in Mount Holyoke College, summer vacations were just me and my mom. I had chosen to start covering my head and was now very familiar with the dichotomies any teenager faces when thinking about religion, society and science.
In fact, I distinctly remember having been assigned individual projects that summer at the community center to talk about any religious concept pertaining to the Quran. And being who I was then and who I am now. I wanted to talk about the words in the Quran no one knows the meaning of and link that mystery to aspects of the human intellect. The limitations, the imaginative, the exploration and the unknown.
I look back fondly at this memory. A probably very definitive one at best, I had a few ideas, a few flash cards in my hand, budding debater at school, I thought how hard can this be? This argument is valid.
I had reconciled the ultimate question at fifteen. I was going to solve the “Why deny god?” problem facing born-muslims-neo-intellectuals. I was ambitious. I started my presentation with celestial bodies, human flaws, societal morality, fluidity in thought and closed the presentation by saying the human intellect has its limitations just as the belief in God does. At some point we need to give into the imaginative, the awe we sense in creation. I was telling them I believe in God because I want to, not because he necessarily exists. That I was accepting of falsifying logic, dubious doubts, distorted truths and despite all the neon signs, I was ready to accept that too was from the creator. Those truths don’t threaten or manipulate a spiritual truths reality and strength.
I think I was on to something or probably thin ice.
